I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
