so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
