remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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