yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
bring money and cleavage
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
