Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
he shaved USA in his pubs
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
