but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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