apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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