It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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