i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
