My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
