That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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