I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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