I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize