Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
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i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
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I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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