i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
