The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
His nipple licking is glorious
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