everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
