Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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