Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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