i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
