dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
