is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Barsexuality is the new black.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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