Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
