I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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