This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
