i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
