My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
