Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
