I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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