i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
