She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
