Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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