i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize