I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
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