Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
