just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize