Will you blow on my dice?
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
