Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Randomize
