I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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