Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
