I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
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