id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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