My sheets look like a crime scene.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
