Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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