is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
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