So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
