I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
