Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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