as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
