Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
