If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
