SEEEEXXX PLEASE
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
