Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
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I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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