Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
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