He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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