i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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