dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
